ME: "I wish I had had more children. In my twilight years I've always wanted to be the matriarch of a large family. Sitting on the front porch with guitar in hand, supper on the stove, a long, grey braid across my shoulder, and oodles of grandchildren all around singing along off key. Can you picture it?"

FRIEND: "I can hear it now:"

Granny Susan: "...come on kids sing louder on the chorus this time
SHA DOOBY SHATTERED SHATTERED
SHA DOOBY SHATTERED SHATTERED
......that's it! you got it you got it!!"